"Knight Jokes & Puns That Slay With Laughter"

Don your shining armor and joust into a world where wordplay reigns supreme! This post is a full-on quest filled with funny knight puns, goofy giggles, and a treasure chest of wordplay designed to leave you in stitches or at least chuckling like a trusty squire after too much mead.

When You’re into one-liner knight humor or silly story-type knight jokes, we’ve got a little something for every noble jokester out there. From chivalry to cheekiness, this collection of Knight Jokes & Puns is here to armor up your creativity and help your social game shine.

Looking for a midweek gem or a Tuesday treasure to drop in the group chat? Consider this the Excalibur of humor, ready to help you slay DMs and become the hero of your captions. Now grab your suit of armor and let’s lance into the fun!

Table of Contents

One-liner Knight Jokes and Puns

The knight brought a shield to dinner because he heard the meal was intense.
I asked the squire for coffee and he returned with a grail full of tea.
That sword really cuts deep, especially when I tell the truth.
I joined a jousting class to improve my morning commute.
The dragon refused to leave until he got a proper dessert.
My chainmail password got hacked by a wizard named Bob.
Every knight needs rest or else their battle cry turns into a bedtime story.
She rode into the party like a horse with no brakes.
He polished his armor more than his personality.
This new pun generator is powered by sarcasm and Excalibur.
I challenged a bard to a joke duel and lost my humor.
The lance was late to the match and blamed the traffic in Camelot.
My Sir name is Knight, and yes, I’ve heard all the jokes.
Never mix peas and potions unless you enjoy explosive side effects.
Her chivalry was so strong she held the door open for a dragon.
The knight skipped training to sleep in his armor.
I tried to move like a knight but tripped over my shield.
They added jest to the training because laughter is the sharpest weapon.
The meal was cold so I reheated it with a tiny sword.
I wrote a love letter and sealed it with dragon fire.
His dating profile said “Skilled in battle cry and breakfast.”
The match was canceled when both knights forgot their lances.
Every knight deserves a light snack before the tournament.
That knight was so dramatic he brought a grail to a picnic.
I joined the chivalry club but quit after one too many puns.

Top Jokes for Knight Giggles

The knight skipped the fight because his armor had a hole where his courage used to be
I asked a knight what he eats for breakfast and he said dragon toast with a side of fire
Never battle a knight before his meal unless you want to fight a grumpy hero
This knight gave up battles to start a garden and now he jousts with weeding every morning
A bored knight used a pizza cutter as a sword and yelled slice them all
His favorite breaktime move is chilling in armor and calling it chill duty
He showed real chivalry by offering his horse a blanket before himself
A scared knight installed a night-light inside his helmet for peaceful patrols
He brought a trumpet to the feast and played victory tunes until the chickens ran
A wild fight broke out at dinner when someone touched his gravy
He trains only at night time because daytime armor tan lines are not heroic
After laundry day the knight wore mismatched socks under his shiny boots
His armor squeaks so loud the dragons run before he even swings
A sneaky chicken tried to steal his sword but tripped on a spoon
In the middle of battle he stopped to fix his hair under the helmet
His biggest challenge was remembering where he left his horse
The only garden he knows is the one growing between his armor joints
He confused Armageddon with a local stew and brought bread to the end of the world
That knight gave his laundry to the squire and got back pink armor
His horse sleeps with a night-light because it fears its own shadow
He once tried to use a trumpet as a lance and lost to a chicken
The princess sent him on a challenge but he got lost at the food stall
He wears armor to the market and wonders why no one walks near
He brought a sword to a salad fight and became king of the buffet
The knight failed at weeding the garden so he declared it a wild forest kingdom

Funny Jokes On Knight

That knight called in sick because his armor caught a cold
He asked the queen for a raise in gold, she offered extra squire hugs instead
Every time he fights, his shield screams louder than he does
His sword is shiny but his aim? Not so much
He brought breakfast to battle and forgot the sword
Dragons say this knight tastes like burnt toast and regret
His horse left a review titled “Rides Too Rough”
The royal laundry hates washing chainmail with socks again
When the king said “get dressed,” he wore his tent
He confused the tournament with a bake sale
The crowd cheered when he tripped on his own cape

Silly Knight Puns

That knight keeps asking dragons for hugs
He trained with a broom and now sweeps the battlefield
His helmet squeaks like a mouse and the castle’s full of cats
He jousted a pumpkin and said it looked mean
This knight packs snacks in his shield compartment
He challenged a pigeon to a duel
His sword makes toast better than it cuts
He joined the royal band because he mistook a trumpet for a dagger
His chivalry score dropped after he stole someone’s muffin
The wizard turned him into a goat once no one noticed
He used his armor as a pot for stew during a blizzard

Knight Comedy Lines

Why did the knight sit during battle? He was on break
That squire talks more than the town crier
My horse has better aim than I do with a sword
I’m not late, I just march dramatically
Armor rusts faster when you cry in it
The king asked for silence — I gave him a broken trumpet
Real knights use night-lights and don’t lie about it
That dragon unfriended me after I roasted his tail
I dropped my shield and found my lunch from last week
I can’t fight on weekends it’s self-care
My chainmail makes a better pasta strainer than protection

Knight Humor for Kids

Why did the knight carry bread? To battle toast
What do you call a horse with armor? A neigh-sayer
How does a squire write jokes? With a knight pen
Where do knights go shopping? Swords R Us
What’s a dragon’s favorite toy? A fire truck
Why was the armor noisy? It had hiccups
What do you call a sleepy knight? Sir Nap-a-lot
Why did the shield blush? It saw the sword polish
What did the king say to his sandwich? You may ketchup
How does a knight fix things? With duct tape and honor
Why did the helmet go missing? It ran away from sweaty hair

Family-Friendly Knight Humor

Our knight wears a bib over his chainmail
Mom asked him to use his sword to cut cake, not air
The dragon brought snacks to the truce
Dad jousts the trash bin every Tuesday
Our dog is now a squire, thanks to his shiny collar
That knight tried cooking and burned the soup with fire magic
We found a horse in the pantry just looking for oats
The family banner now has spaghetti stains
Grandma knits custom armor for the royal squirrels
We crown the cat every weekend for bravery
The castle’s bell rings for pizza night, not war

Best Knight Jokes

What’s a knight’s favorite subject? Swordplay and chill
He can’t ride a horse but can ride gossip
That knight takes bubble baths in his helmet
He once dueled a shadow and lost
His idea of combat? Arguing with the garden gnome
The king gave him a gold star for trying
His sword bent during a practice sneeze
He invented armor yoga but can’t bend
His horse joined a band and left him for tour
He wears his helmet backwards for fashion
His battle cry is actually his favorite food chant — TACO TIME

Jokes About Dragons and Knights

The dragon offered hugs but the knight brought a marshmallow just in case
Every time a knight sees a dragon, his armor starts sweating
They say the dragon only attacks villages that ban spicy food
A hungry knight tried to roast his dinner with a dragon’s sneeze
That one dragon breathes fire and sarcasm
The knight asked the dragon for directions and left with a tan
A sleepy dragon accidentally lit his pillow instead of a torch
The knight said he slayed the dragon, but it was just a very angry chicken
A wise dragon now teaches yoga fire breathing is extra
The dragon sent the knight a friendship bracelet… made of lava
They opened a joint bakery called “The Burnt Bun”

Clean Knight Jokes

The knight slipped on a banana peel and blamed a wizard
That knight joined book club but only reads about chivalry
He put his sword in the dishwasher and now it’s just a butter knife
The knight brought his cat to battle it hissed at the armor
He used his shield to fry eggs on a sunny day
His armor squeaks so much it joined a jazz band
He got knighted by mistake—they were aiming for the guy behind him
He went to the dentist and asked for “dragon-proof teeth”
The knight tried to post a scroll on Instagram
He asked his squire to “knight” the candles for dinner
He once got lost in his own castle… twice

Brave Knight Jokes

The brave knight fought three goblins and one bad Yelp review
He rides into battle on a goat named Thunder
A brave knight once challenged a storm to a duel
He thought a hiccup was a curse and hid in a barrel
That brave knight wears glitter under his chainmail for sparkle defense
He battled darkness by installing more torches
The king called him “fearless” after he asked for seconds at dinner
His battle cry is “Oops!” but with confidence
He fought off a mosquito and called it a “winged beast”
A brave knight once tickle a sleeping ogre
He named his sword “Mittens” and still wins fights

Dad Jokes About Knights

What did the knight say to the chef? “This steak is well-armored”
Why did the knight quit painting? Too many drawn swords
Want to hear a knightly joke? It’s pretty shielded
My armor’s not rusted, it’s aged metal
What do you call a sleepy knight? Sir Snooze-a-lot
Why don’t knights take selfies? They hate sword reflections
What’s a knight’s favorite snack? Lance crackers
What does a tired knight do? Take a squire nap
Where do knights buy milk? At the mooo-nastery
Why did the knight join the gym? To get battle ready
When’s a knight most polite? When he’s “Sir Yes Sir”

Knight Jokes for Instagram

“Current mood: Knight in, not out”
“Suiting up for Monday like it’s a quest”
“New week, new armor, who dis?”
“When the dragon breathes fire, roast marshmallows”
“Proof that chivalry still exists… barely”
“Posting this from a drawbridge”
“Crowned by caffeine and chaos”
“Knight shift in full shine”
“Some wear capes, I wear chainmail”
“Slaying goals not goblins (today)”
“When your Monday is more medieval than magical”

Knight Puns for Captions

You slay me like a true knight
Armor up, it’s drama season
Chainmail is my cardio
Sir Laughs-a-lot reporting for meme duty
Just jousting around
Rise, shine, and conquer
Even dragons double-tap this
Powered by courage and coffee
Storming Mondays in plate mail
Got my sword and snacks
My vibe? Legendary

Also Read>“Funny Dreams Jokes & Puns to Make You Laugh”/2025

Noble Knight Puns

A noble knight once rescued a puppy and became mayor
He held open a castle gate and called it chivalry goals
His suit of armor is made of recycled scrolls
The noble knight donates his lance to lance-less squires
He once healed a wound with tea and compliments
This knight’s code includes kindness and karaoke
He knelt for the crown and tripped over his cape
The horse follows him because he shares snacks
That noble knight invented bedtime stories and bedtime armor
He signs scrolls with glitter ink and honor
He helped an ogre with taxes and now they’re friends

Short Jokes About Knights

Why did the Knight bring a ladder? To get over his fear of Dragon heights!
The Squire got fired he tried to joust with a mirror.
The King banned jokes in the castle… but the Knight said, “I’ll fight for humor!”
Never trust a Knight who can’t cook; his stew might fight back.
The Dragon opened a bakery it sells only flaming hot carrot cakes.
The Sword said to the Helmet, “You always get ahead of me!”
That Armor wasn’t shiny it just reflected the Kingdom’s lies.
Why did the Knight avoid the river? Too many current events.
The Horse started a band. First song? “Gallop to the Beat.”
The Battle was rough, but the Lute player kept the mood light.
Why did the Enemy bring an umbrella? In case of a rain of arrows.
The Knight said he’s on a new diet only eats victories.
The Cooking pot in the castle isn’t broken it’s just stew-born.
The Feast ended when someone sworded the dessert.
Never challenge a Knight to karaoke. His song slays every time.
The Bravery award went to the farmer who hugged the Dragon.
That Helmet isn’t magic it’s just full of ideas.
The Knight took a retreat to a farm, but the farmer jousted back.
There’s no such thing as a lazy Knight unless it’s nap time.
The Light in the Kingdom went out, so the Squire used his sword to shine.
Why did the Knight stand in front of the mirror? Practicing face-to-face combat.
The Knight told his Horse, “Quit horsing around!”
After the big battle, the Knight said, “I came, I saw, I conked out.”
That Knight’s voice is so bad, even the Lute left the room.
The Victory was sweet, but the King still wanted pudding.

Read More Puns:Hilarious Aunt Jokes & Puns You’ll Love”

Funny Knight Stories

The Knight’s Shiny Armor Dilemma

Sir Cedric polished his armor so well, he blinded the royal photographer at the ceremony. The king knighted him anyway—by touch, not sight.

Sir Lancelot and the Missing Horse

Lancelot arrived at battle riding a mop with reins after his horse wandered off to flirt with a unicorn. The enemy was too confused to fight, so he won by standing still.

The Sleepy Knight’s Battle Blunder

Sir Harold snored so loudly behind the castle wall, the enemy thought it was a growling dragon. They fled, and he woke up a hero—with bedhead.

The Clumsy Knight at the Joust

Sir Puffleton tripped on his own lance before the match even started. His opponent laughed so hard he fell too—they both got trophies for “Most Entertaining Duel.”

The Knight Who Forgot His Sword

Sir Edwin showed up to battle with a baguette instead of a blade. He apologized by slicing it and offering sandwiches to both sides.

Sir Giggles and the Dragon That Told Jokes

During battle, the dragon cracked a pun that made Sir Giggles fall off his horse laughing. They ended up opening a comedy tavern called “Flames & Funnies.”

The Knight’s Midnight Snack Quest

Sir Benedict snuck into the royal kitchen in full armor for pie. The clangs woke the castle, but the queen joined him for seconds.

The Knight Who Fought with a Spoon

Sir Jasper mistook the soup ladle for his sword during a rushed battle call. Turns out, dragons are surprisingly ticklish.

The Nervous Knight and the Singing Helmet

Sir Mortimer’s enchanted helmet wouldn’t stop singing love ballads mid-fight. The dragon stopped attacking just to clap along.

The Knight Who Rode a Donkey

Sir Reginald’s noble steed had stage fright, so he rode in on the jester’s donkey. The crowd cheered louder than at the coronation.

Sir Laughs-a-Lot and the Ticklish Troll

Mid-battle, the troll grabbed Sir Laughs-a-Lot—then burst into giggles when Sir tickled his armpit. They skipped the duel and started a dance-off instead.

The Knight’s Awkward Royal Banquet

Sir Oswald’s armor squeaked with every step during the royal toast. The queen laughed first then asked if she could borrow it for the court jester.

Conclusion

Wrapping up this laugh-worthy quest filled with funny knight puns, I truly hope you enjoyed every bit of this joust into a world of humor. From chivalry mishaps to knights losing their suit of armor, it’s been a joy to share this Excalibur of humor with you.

As someone who genuinely loves spinning silly tales, crafting these Knight Jokes & Puns felt like polishing a rusty helmet until it sparkled with giggles. Whether you’re here for legendary posts or just a good midweek gem, I hope you’re leaving with a smile. If you chuckled even once—my mission is complete.

Ash

“Knight Jokes & Puns That Slay With Laughter”