Buttocks Jokes That’ll Crack You Up—Cheeky Laughs Ahead/2025

Let’s face it when it comes to buttocks jokes, we all have a soft spot. Whether you’re here for a bit of cheeky humor, some clever bottom puns, or just need a break from serious talk, this post is packed with laugh-out-loud stories and pun-based humor that’ll have your sides and maybe your rear aching from laughter.

We’ve rounded up the best rear-end jokes, silly rump humor, and short gags to brighten your day and give your funny bone a playful kick in the pants. From quick funny one-liners to full-on backside comedy, this collection is for readers who aren’t afraid to giggle at a good ol’ behind joke.

So sit back (gently) and enjoy because when it comes to humor, we believe no joke is too behind!

Bum Jokes for Adults

When you grow up, the jokes don’t go away—they just get a bit cheekier.

My bum has its own schedule—it’s always running late.
If my butt had a GPS, it would still find a way to take the wrong seat.
I tried doing squats, but my rear end complained.
That moment when your bum claps before you do.
My behind is like my Wi-Fi—strong in some rooms, nonexistent in others.
I lost weight, but my butt didn’t get the memo.
My backside makes more noise than my thoughts.
This seat’s taken—by my cheeks.
I tried twerking, now I need a new spine.

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Bum Jokes One Liners

My bum is the only thing that never skips leg day.
A booty call now means yelling from the couch.
My cheeks have trust issues—they never sit still.
Keep calm and let your bum do the talking.
My backside walked into the room before I did.
Big dreams, bigger butt.
Don’t follow your heart—follow your bum, it knows where the snacks are.
My rear end has more bounce than my bank account.
I don’t shake hands—I shake butts.

Funny Butt Jokes

You know it’s a real giggle when your butt becomes the punchline.

My butt has two moods: sit and really sit.
I gave my glutes a break—they’ve been carrying me all week.
My bum told me it’s tired of being the butt of the joke.
Never underestimate the power of a well-timed toot.
My bottom walked into a room and knocked over confidence.
I don’t lift weights—I lift snacks and sit on my cheeks.
My butt auditioned for a drumline. It didn’t make the cut, but it made a beat.
Some people speak their mind—I speak my behind.
I trust my butt—it always knows when it’s time to leave.

Butt Jokes for Kids

Why did the butt bring a pencil to school? To draw attention!
My bum loves hide and seat.
What’s a bottom’s favorite subject? History—it always comes last!
My cheeks told me they’re tired from sitting too much.
What do you call a bum with a sense of humor? A crack-up!
The booty made a joke… and it was cheeky!
Why did the butt get detention? It wouldn’t stop giggling!
My rear end wants its own lunchbox.
If you hear a toot, it wasn’t me—it was the chair!

Short Bum Jokes One Liners for Adults

My bum has a fan club—it’s just the chair.
I trained my cheeks to respond to compliments.
My booty has more curves than my life path.
Even my butt is multitasking—sits and snoozes.
I don’t skip leg day—I carry my backside everywhere.
My rear end gets more compliments than my face.
Don’t touch my bum—it’s in rest mode.
My bottom is so extra, it brings drama to yoga.
I bring my butt everywhere—it’s my best support system.

Bum Jokes Quotes

For those who like their wisdom served with a wink.

“Life’s too short to ignore your backside’s opinion.”
“A day without laughter is a day your bum didn’t jiggle.”
“The bigger the dream, the louder the booty clap.”
“Be proud of your cheeks—they’ve carried you through life.”
“I sit, therefore I bum.”
“Strong glutes, strong spirit.”
“Love yourself—even your rear end deserves admiration.”
“Wherever you go, bring your bottom—it’s part of the journey.”
“The world needs more laughs… and better chairs.”

You Bum Jokes

Sometimes, it’s personal—because you bum deserves some roast too!

You bum, even gravity gave up on holding you together.
You cheeky rascal, your pants are working overtime!
You booty builder, your couch misses you already.
You call that a bum? I’ve seen fluffier pancakes.
You rear end rebels, always taking the softest seat.
You lazy bottom, stop blaming the chair for your problems.
You butt, you’ve got more splits than my calendar.
You cheeks, always clapping when I’m trying to be serious.
You bum, even mirrors blink when they see you.

Buttocks Puns

My buttocks have a better bounce rate than my website.
These cheeks don’t lie—they just sit and snack.
I tried dancing, but my rear end started its own routine.
My glutes aren’t just thick—they’re emotionally layered.
Keep your opinions—I’ll sit on mine with my buttocks.
My bottom has been in more meetings than my brain.
I told my rear to chill. Now it’s in recline mode.
The buttocks are like opinions—everyone has a pair.
I don’t argue—I just turn around and let the cheeks speak.

Dad Buttocks Jokes

Because even dad jokes can be cheeky—especially when they involve butts.

Son, I don’t sit on problems—I plant them on my rear end.
My buttocks used to be firm—then I discovered recliners.
I told your mom my cheeks were sore… from carrying this family!
Back in my day, we didn’t skip leg day—or glute day!
If my butt had a job, it would be middle management.
Dad’s not lazy—his rear is just strategically resting.
I trained my buttocks to find the best chairs—dad skills.
This isn’t a dad bod—it’s a rear-engine classic.
I’ve got a six-pack… of excuses under these cheeks.

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Big Buttocks Jokes

Bigger laughs come with bigger bottoms—here’s proof.

My big buttocks entered the room 3 seconds before I did.
These glutes don’t lie—they file taxes in their own name.
My rear end needs its own zip code.
You can’t miss my cheeks—they announce themselves.
I don’t sit—I land.
My buttocks have more drama than a soap opera.
Every time I back up, I hear a beep.
My bottom doesn’t walk—it wobbles with purpose.
These glutes don’t fit in jeans—they need a support group.

Funny Buttocks Jokes Stories

The Slip-and-Slide Slip-Up

We turned the backyard into a DIY waterpark, but my swimsuit slipped faster than I did. Let’s just say the neighbors saw more than the sprinkler.

The Tight Jeans Tragedy

I wore fresh-from-the-dryer skinny jeans to brunch, and when I bent down to grab my napkin… rrrip. At least my muffin wasn’t the only thing rising.

The Great Pants Debacle

During a meeting, my pants decided to split at the seams mid-presentation. I finished the pitch—and earned a standing ovation and an office nickname: “Cheeky Steve.”

The Yoga Class Mishap

Mid-downward dog, my leggings gave up on life. The instructor just winked and said, “That’s one way to open your chakras.”

The Wedding Dance Disaster

My cousin’s big day ended with my big reveal—my pants tore mid-twerk during “Single Ladies.” The photos? Legendary. The applause? Totally worth it.

The Gym Bet Gone Wrong

I lost a gym challenge and had to wear neon shorts two sizes too small. Let’s just say the treadmill got a real full moon that day.

The Beach Blunder

I went for a jump in the waves… came back with only half my swimsuit. A kid shouted, “Mommy, I see a butt!” I waved like a pageant queen.

The Office Chair Catastrophe

I leaned too far back and my chair collapsed under me, pants ripped, and the boss walked in. He laughed and said, “Well, that’s one way to break in the seat.”

The BBQ Blowout

The fire popped, I jumped, and my shorts caught a grease stain right on the cheeks. My uncle called it a “grill mark of honor.”

The Karaoke Night Fiasco

I hit a high note, my jeans hit their limit, and the mic dropped—not from me, but from my shocked duet partner.

The Tailor’s Nightmare

The tailor promised a snug fit. She delivered a squeeze so tight, I sneezed and popped a seam. She offered free repairs—and a bottle of wine.

The Elevator Exposure

I got stuck in a packed elevator, and as I reached for the emergency button, my pants gave out. Someone said, “Well, this ride just got cheeky!”

Conclusion

If you’ve made it this far without laughing your butt off congrats, you have iron cheeks! These buttocks jokes, packed with cheeky puns, backside comedy, and a whole lot of silly rump humor, were written with nothing but love (and maybe a few giggles).

I had a blast putting together these rear-end jokes and pun-based gems, and I truly hope they gave your day a little extra lift. When you came for the short gags or stayed for the laugh-out-loud stories, thanks for sticking around. I hope you feel happier after reading this post—your cheeks definitely deserve the joy!

Ash

“Ash is the creative mind behind MadeJokes.com, bringing laughter to life with clever puns, funny jokes, and playful humor. Passionate about making every reader smile, Ash shares a unique blend of wit and joy online.”